Dine and Dash
by SnazzyMeatball
Summary: Punching a Shinigami in the face, Noah comes to know, was the best way to attract attention of megalomaniac mass murderers and their personal sugar obsessed detectives. At least the Shinigami was her friend. (Kidnappings, and death notes and obsessive creeps who don't understand the word 'No'). [LightXOC/LXOC]


**Warnings :** Rated T for violence, coarse language, mild sexual themes and absurdness.

This work is of pure fantasy \- any and all characters are purely fictional. Death note and its characters belong to you-know-who. The plot, artwork (Unless specified) and its OC, however, belong to me. All rights have been reserved.

Piracy, Copy Catting and Illegal publish-ment of this work will be reported as soon as noticed. Your ass will be _principle. _I promise that to you. So come at me, bro. (Might be updated on quotev/wattpad under my acc.)

So, now that, _that's_ done, Hey! Welcome, to my humble story.

This plot just punched _me_ right in the face while I was in my math's class, and i really couldn't resist giving it life, so yeah. Reviews, ghost readers, readers, critics and haters you are so very welcome to this story, it _hurts_.

Thoughts and Reviews are cherished.

* * *

Prologue - Of Death gods and Apples.

"Oh! Pardon, I wasn't- Son of a Bitch!"

Wide, slanted grey eyes gawked at the inhumane monstrosity hovering right _in front_ of my face, I stumbled backwards, brain frozen at the sight in front of me. Purple hued skin stretched thin on its grotesquely tall frame, bulging yellow eyes with _redredred_ irises stared right at me, its face un-proportioned and ghastly, limbs too long and wings (_fucking wings!_) wavering in the air.

The _monster_ took one long look at me and humped. "Well, well, well. This is surprising, it seems little miss can see me? Hyuk, Hyuk, Hyuk…." Morbid, spastic chuckles left its cracked lips and sharp fangs peeked from below. "Holy… Shit." I stood there, frozen. Sulphur and ozone crackled along its frame, a nauseating feeling sitting tight in my gut.

"What the fuck? Oh _hell_ no. Not today Satan." A low growl left my lips, as I turned and _ran_ for it. Blood pumping adrenalin throughout my body as the situation finally set in. Wild, thick mass of silvery-blonde curls flew in the air, as I _pushedpushedpushed_ myself faster and faster and faster - Until, I crashed into a wall of spindly bones, musty leather and ozone and sulphur.

Starless night encased around the twilight, unseeing and unheard. The monster had _caught me_, game over for this once. Trembling like a leaf in a storm, I flung myself away from it and fell on my ass, praying to anyone or _anything_ to get me the _fuck away_ from it.

"Now, now little miss. If I wanted to kill you, I would have. It's not every day that a human can see me without touching _it_…." My gasps quietened into little pants as I assessed the contemplating look on its face. Something in me knew, that life was about to get a _hell_ 'lota complicated. If I came out alive that is.

Suddenly the picture became HD to me and yes, the fact that I will _die_, if I don't do something – anything, I will end up being monster toast became clear to me. Eyes sharpening, I twisted my body lightly to the right, and without a moment's hesitation kicked it right in the face. Mid laugh, too. "Ghyu!"

Its eyes bulged even more, surprise evident. However, I didn't stop at that. Dashing forward, I body slammed into it, grabbing its legs and judo flipped it upon the wall, then kicked its stomach, kneed its face and after one mighty drop kick, it retaliated. "That, wasn't very nice…." Ominous growls burst past it lips as my breath hitched, staring into the glowing red eyes of my doom.

Suddenly, I did something stupid. Before it could say anything, like _time to eat you!_ Or maybe _I'm gonna have deluxe human sushi today!_ Or my personal favorite, _let's leave the stupid human alone! _I reached into my bag and grabbed my savior. I was _so _not ready to die, like, I'm not even in my home country right now.

Bloody knew shouldn't have come to Japan.

Grasping my gamble, I pushed it in front of me, like, in the way they present offering to Gods. Bright red, shiny skin peeked from my hands – crunchy, cool and delicious. The monster paused. It looked at me, then my hands and then slowly picked my offering up. "What is this?" it asked running a spindly hand along the red life saver.

"I-It's an a-apple." I muttered quietly, silently marveling at my stupidity. "You eat it." I added, _and then maybe, pretty please, don't eat me?_ Was left unsaid, because why give it ideas? I mean I might be slow, but I'm not stupid. I watched, kind of awed, as it paused once and then, opened its massive jaws and crunched right into it.

"Splat!"

Juice dribbled from its lips as it stilled completely. _Oh my gods, this is it, I'm gonna die and I didn't even complete my designs_…. Oh wait, no. Suddenly, as if possessed, the thing went _bastillic_ and chomped the whole apple in seconds, licking its fingers and all. "More! Give me more!" It begged, with its eyes wide- uh, well wider - and a maniac grin on its face.

Suddenly the ozone and sulphur faded away, and suddenly the monster looked kinda…. Cute. Like a little kid cute, kind of way. I snapped out of my thoughts and coughed, trying to avoid its twinkling eyes. _What the fuck_?

"I… I have more in my apartment?" it came out as a squeak, my throat closing up, because I really didn't want to end up like those apples. "It's just around here, and its three am, so you could… I don't know?" I bumbled, not sure of how to not piss of the thing. It tilted its head and looked at me, silently judging me (Jesus Christ, even a monster is judging me,_ so_ rude). Then it cackled like a witch. No seriously.

"So… I mean, can't people see you?" I asked warily peeping at it as I made my way into my apartment, grabbing my horde of shiny red apples. "Nah. Only those who touched the book can. Too bad, you didn't take it. Maybe I'll kill the current owner and give it to you?" It mumbled, talking to itself.

Immediately I stopped it, "NO! No, I don't want the book, hell, I don't want _any_ book! Its fine, I can already see you, right?" It pouted – like a fucking child mind you – and nodded reluctantly. "But then I won't be able to meet you!" it whined, and inwardly I relaxed. "Well, you can see me when you're free? I mean, what are you anyway?" I perked up and grinned.

"Oh! Yeah, Im Ryuk, a Shinigami. God of Death? Isn't that what they call me in your tongue?" I paused, then nodded and then silently wondered if I had gone mad. Maybe I did, but im pretty sure this isn't a hallucination so I did the very next thing. A mad chuckle left my lips. _Holy Shit, Reapers exist. What's next? Jack Frost? Easter bunny? Wicked witch of wonderland? _

Ryuk….. Looked at me in wonder, then grinned its – or his? Most probably his, horrible smile and joined my laughter. "Man, humans are so interesting." He-it-he said, "So what is your name, little miss?" it, no,_ he_ asked and I replied, pushing back my thick mass of hair. "Noah. My name's Noah R. Anderson." and slowly I understood.

My life was about to get _wild_.

* * *

"BOOO!"

Ryuk's Halloween worthy voice shouted in my face, as I calmly _looked_ and _judged_ him with my 'Im-contemplating-the-worth-of-your-existence' look. He pouted, floating mid-air above my head as I continued my run.

"Seriously, Ryuk? I mean come on, what do you take me for?" I murmured coolly, jumping above a random bench. My feet met the ground with a thunk as I continued my attempts to become the next Usain Bolt. "Man, you did complete one eighty, didn't 'cha?" he said, easily keeping up with my back-breaking speed.

"Well, I don't even know why I was scared. Seriously, you're like a little kid. Feed, entertain and provide with attention." Was my answer as I slowed down and plopped myself on the cool ground. Ryuk bobbed his head in agreement and took an apple.

"So did you meet your little book manager? Or are you still spying on Kira?" I asked, gulping down cool water. "I might meet him today, he is _very_ fond of my notebook." He said after devouring the fruit. "Do tell me how the famous megalomaniac serial killer is after you meet him, kay?" I told him. "Hyuk, Hyuk, Hyuk. You won't stop him?" he asked, a wide crazy grin on his face.

"Nah. A serial killer who kills with a name and a face? No thank you, don't wanna meet him, don't wanna see him." I replied, braiding my hair into two thick French plaits. The braids popped nicely along my head – the pale blonde stark against the black roots of my hair. My stormy, pale grey eyes looking coolly at ryuk's red orbs.

"You're really something, aren't cha, Noah?" he pronounced my name in perfect English, which wasn't quite surprising, I mean we _were_ talking in English since day one. And he was, you know, a reaper. Not that my Japanese was bad or anything.

It had been approximately two weeks since I met Ryuk – the bored reaper, who is now a proud apple addict. The first few days were tense and awkward and just plain _uncomfortable_ for the both of us. I had referred him as it and he had walked in on me half naked.

Yeah, that was one _day_.

Honestly, then we just clicked. At first, he was all chuckle-y and spastic and plain mad hatter-y, and I hadn't taken well to that. In fact, after the third day to his annoying behavior, I snapped at him – forgetting just who he was.

That day, he looked at my red, angry face with uncharacteristic seriousness and then flew away. He later returned, not as childish as before. The reaper had suddenly turned into a more lax, laid back and sarcastic version of himself.

And _did_ we bond. Literally, we went from step child and mother to I-got-ya-back buddies, after sometime, I too relaxed and showed my true colours. Gone was the Noah with occasional stutters, and paranoid conversation, and wary-mouse like attitude replaced with a cool, sarcastic, hot-headed bitch with on hell of a bitch face.

Ryuk took one look at my new persona, specifically - my resting bitch face, and with morbid amusement he told me that I could give even the scariest reapers a run for their money. I believed him, because I knew that when my face was in default mode, I looked _unfriendly_ \- like punch your shit in if you talk to me, unfriendly.

The fact that I was five eleven and lightly muscled didn't help my case. Not to mention with my abundant piercings (Nose, ear and tongue) along with my tattooed frame alienated me from the ethic based, proper looks of Japanese crowd. If I would get a dollar for every stare I received, I would be a godamned billionaire. No kidding.

For the past few days, Ryuk and I have been like bossom buddies. The shinigami literally knows everything about me – the good, the bad and the shit. On the other hand, Ryuk told me all about himself and his days in the boring world of shinigami. Oh, not to mention his reason which actually bought him here. The death note – AKA a book which kills.

A book which is now in the hands of a quickly gaining popularity psychopathic megalomaniac known as 'Kira' who was about to meet my buddy and then most probably me – a twenty one year old foreign woman who knows her secret.

Needless to say, I am _not_ looking forward to that day, not at all. I'd rather just stick to my work – which bought me to Japan in the first place. You see, my bored companion, I am what they call, a rich bishie. Twenty two year old, independent orphan who worked her ass off to get where she is now – a well-known name. More like a very young, very good linguistic who was known popularly for her translations.

Yes, a mean looking woman happens to be a linguistic and writer. Shocked? Yeah. I was here to translate some old as dust books, so honestly, finding a shinigami buddy to kill time with afterwards was _great_. Even if, I was the only one who could see him.

And a mass murderer.

"Hey Ryuk?" I called out to the bored looking shinigami. "What?" he asked, floating in front of my face. "Wanna see a Horror movie? Im thinking of _The Ring_, _Insidious_ or maybe _IT_? With popcorn and candied apples?" I wiggled my eyebrows, no doubt looking strange. "Man, you're my favorite human, you know that?" a small smirk graced my lips.

"I know."

He didn't even bat an eye, looked at me for a moment and then, "I wanna have chips too." I rose my eyebrows silently, he just shrugged and gave me a nauseatingly sweet look. Ryuk and Sweet do _not_ go together. At all, in fact. I huffed and stretched slightly, ignoring the wide eyed looks I was receiving from the crowd. "BBQ flavor?" I mused looking questioningly at him.

"You are the best human on this world, why didn't I meet you earlier?"

I paused a moment and then answered honestly, giving him a small wicked smile. "I might have thrown holy water at you." Mad chuckles burst past his un-hinged jaw, the familiar 'Hyuk, Hyuk, Hyuk' not as annoying as before. "Ooo, Holy water? I wonder." I actually considered the scenario, thinking what would happen if I _did_ throw some holy water at the decaying god of death. "Wanna try out? Get burned by the fires of heaven?"

"Sure. Whatever." I wasn't even surprised anymore, the piece of shit. I gave him a long, hard glace and then decided that yeah, the asshole of a shinigami was serious about the offer. More like indifferent, but whatever, "Quake, in your boots, fool." The piece of decaying shit looked at me, and _judged_. "I take that back. You are a _strange_ human." A snort left my lips at his words. 'What a bloody hypocrite.'

"I wasn't the one trying to figure out holy water, being a demon."

"Excuse me? I am not a demon."

"Nah, your excused. Plus demons are overrated anyway - You're a bored, crazy, inhumane, ugly God of death who likes to spy on mass murders."

"Complaining?"

"Who, me? _Never._"

I shook my head, and took off in a light sprint – ready to retry my attempts of being Usain Bolt. Ryuk, as always flew around me without breaking a sweat. If shinigami's can even break one, that is.

'Yeah, life was about to get _fine_.'

* * *

So yeah. What's the thought?

(PS. I might have difficulty with light's character. I haven't really seen the anime, only read about it in wiki and then came to , so i might not get some characters right.)


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